As a volunteer for RCM of Washington, Inc., and the administrator
of this blog, I would like to share my brother’s story, and how this
organization, changed his life.
My brother, Robert Sylvester Whiteing, was born with
special needs. Robert was the 6th child out of a family of 9
children, with me being a year younger. I can remember Robert being different,
and as a young child, would often question my parents why he was.
Robert was a beautiful child, with a head full of curly
hair, and mesmerizing eyes that would change to different hues of green,
depending on the season.
I remember Robert having to wear leg braces as a young
child, and struggle to walk.
Robert and I were both in the same kindergarten class, and
I still remember the day when my mother told me that he would no longer be
going to school with me. Kids would teased, laugh and called him the r-word. I
remember always getting into fights because of the teasing, I was very
protective of him.
I am not sure when Robert left home, but I do remember as a
young child visiting him at a facility called Forest Haven, located in Laurel,
Maryland.
Residents lived in tree-shaded
dorms with bucolic names such as Elm or Poplar Cottage. Robert lived in Poplar Cottage…and hated it
there.
When we would visit Robert, he would always cry when we
left. He loved coming home for visits, always thinking that he was there to
stay. When it was time for us to take him back. He would sit in the car quietly
until he saw the big “Pepsi Cola” sign from the highway. That sign would always
trigger an emotional response from him. He would begin pulling at the back of
my father’s car seat. We would have to hold onto him and try to calm him down.
This would go on for the rest of the ride. He would be
crying and constantly saying, “don’t take me back, I don’t want to go back to
pop cottage”, as he called it.
When the Forest Haven facility closed in 1991, Robert was
then transferred to two other facilities, the last being RCM of Washington, Inc.,
in 1998.
I was never impressed when visiting the previous facilities
where Robert resided.
However, when Robert was under the care of RCM, the first
thing I noticed was how different he was, happy to see us when we visited, no
problems when taking him home from a visit.
Robert was living in residential housing, and had his own
room. His room was always neat and clean.
Once I went to pick Robert up for a home visit, I was told
he was finishing up dinner. I could smell the home cooked food. Robert was
sitting at the table eating nutritious food. Robert loved to eat.
Before he left he was handed a bag with his favorite
treats…and we would stop on the way to get his diet coke and potato chips.
Remember I said earlier that Robert did not like to see the large Pepsi Cola
sign? There was no way he was going to drink a Pepsi!
His prescriptions where always ready for me with instructions,
thanks to his wonderful nurse, Doris Goins, who always had them ready on time.
I could call her at any time while he was visiting, and she was always
available to answer my questions.
When I picked Robert up for visits he would have to hug
everybody in the house before leaving. He would hurry down the front steps
saying, “I’m going for a home visit, I’ll see you later!”
Once in the car, he would lean back, and say, “put my
seatbelt on.” He would sing all of the songs on the radio as we were
leaving…and he knew the words to most of them. He would always say, “you gonna
bring me back home?” I would tell him, “we haven’t even got to my house yet…yes,
I will bring you back home.
Robert would talk about all of his housemates and everyone
that took care of him. If my phone rang, he would say, “is that Doris Goins?, always addressing her by her full name. He loved her so much.
He love going to day activities and would tell me what he
learned, draw me pictures and sing songs.
He loved Scooby Doo and Batman. When he came for home
visits, I would have to look through cable channels to find Scooby Doo cartoons.
One day I couldn’t find Scooby Doo and put on another cartoon. He immediately
noticed that it wasn’t Scooby Doo and let me know it. I kept searching and
finally found it. Robert would blurt out the Scooby Doo or Batman theme songs
right in the middle of eating, with a big grin…he was so happy.
He had a favorite song that I had to always sing with him
in the car. I don’t know the name of it, but we sang: red leaves falling down,
yellow leaves falling down, over all the town. He would always emphasize the
word ‘town’ real loud. We would sing phrase, over-and-over again…all the way home.
We had no problem taking him home. We would be watching
television, and Robert would say, “I’m ready to go home Rona”, that’s what he
called me. If it was in the winter, he would get up and go to the closet, get
his hat, coat and gloves and start putting them on.
Robert could be a comedian sometimes. My husband’s nickname
is ‘Buster’. When Robert saw him he would say, “Brother-in-law, Buster Brown all
around town.”
One time we were taking him home to his new house in
Southeast, Washington, DC, and my husband made a wrong turn. Robert quickly grab
the car seat and told him, “Go that way.” Sure enough, my husband had made a
wrong turn. I was told by someone in the house that he knew the streets in the
area from going to day activities.
What I like about RCM of Washington is that they kept
Robert involved in activities. He was always involved in educational programs
that helped him grow as an individual. He was attending field trips to museums,
sports games, movies, and bowling. There was even a set day of the week that
the residents went to the Chateau Club in DC.
Robert was in the Special Olympics.
Every summer he was off for a week vacation at the
Sandbridge Beach. He really loved going and would constantly ask me how many
days left before he would be going. He would tell me that he already had his
suitcase packed.
Robert had seem to be gaining weight. RCM took note, put
him on a diet…and he slimed down so nicely.
He really enjoyed the Annual Holiday Party. He would be all
dressed up with a big smile when I got there, pulling me over to a table. His
friends would stop by the table and say, “Robert Whiteing”, he would give the
biggest grin and say, “this Rona my sister.” I would point to my husband and
ask who he was, and he would say, “Brother-in-law, Buster Brown, all around
town.
When Robert was diagnosed with Melanoma, I was immediately
contacted. RCM staff took care of him, taking him to his doctor appointments.
His nurse would always notify me of upcoming doctor appointments, procedures
and his condition. Staff always called me when he returned home from an
appointment. I had no worries, I knew that he was in good hands.
Robert succumbed to his Melanoma, and went to be with the
Lord, in March 2012. His RCM family attended his funeral. It was heartwarming
to see so many people that loved my brother.
I miss my ‘Big Teddy Bear’, as I always called him. He was
one of the sweetest guys you could ever meet. I think about him all the time,
especially around the Holidays.
I had the opportunity to visit the RCM offices last month.
While standing at the receptionist desk, I noticed a picture tree. The first
thing I saw was a picture of Robert and Amy Brooks, CEO, RCM of Washington, Inc. That did my
heart good and made me smile. I always knew that the staff at RCM loved Robert,
and he loved them. But seeing that picture, I knew, they have never forgotten
him.
I know that Robert enjoyed the last fifteen years of his
life, and is resting in peace.
RCM of Washington, Inc. is a wonderful organization, and is
truly committed to their mission. This is only one story. I am sure all of
their residents are treated with the same love, dignity and respect that they
gave to Robert.
A big “Thank You” to all of the staff at RCM, for the love
and care that you gave my brother, Robert.
Robert was always a big guy for his age. I think he was around 15-years-old in this picture.
Our parents, Vernon and Juanita Whiteing
Here he is enjoying RCM's Annual Holiday Party.
Robert dropped the weight!
Robert and his nurse, Doris Goins. She is a wonderful and caring person. Thank you for all of the love and care you gave Robert. I know he loved you.
Vacation Time!
Here he is with Danielle M. Darby, Chief Operating Officer, RCM of Washington, Inc., Amy L. Brooks, Chief Executive Officer, RCM of Washington, Inc. (far right), and some of his friends.
Spending time on vacation with friends.
Robert and Danielle
Robert and Amy.
Robert and friends.
Robert and Amy.
Robert's Birthday is on October 31st. They always celebrated his birthday at the Halloween Party...including a cake!
Here he is with Susan C. Brooks, Operations Manager, RCM of Washington, Inc.
His birthday cake...I know he enjoyed it!
My big 'teddy bear'.
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