RCM - Revitalizing Community Membership: Empowering Independence: Robert S. Whiteing - Living with a Brother Who Was Born with Special Needs: How RCM of Washington, Inc., Changed His Life

As a volunteer for RCM of Washington, Inc., and the administrator of this blog, I would like to share my brother’s story, and how this organization, changed his life.

My brother, Robert Sylvester Whiteing, was born with special needs. Robert was the 6^th child out of a family of 9 children, with me being a year younger. I can remember Robert being different, and as a young child, would often question my parents why he was.

Robert was a beautiful child, with a head full of curly hair, and mesmerizing eyes that would change to different hues of green, depending on the season.

I remember Robert having to wear leg braces as a young child, and struggle to walk.

Robert and I were both in the same kindergarten class, and I still remember the day when my mother told me that he would no longer be going to school with me. Kids would teased, laugh and called him the r-word. I remember always getting into fights because of the teasing, I was very protective of him.

I am not sure when Robert left home, but I do remember as a young child visiting him at a facility called Forest Haven, located in Laurel, Maryland.
Residents lived in tree-shaded dorms with bucolic names such as Elm or Poplar Cottage. Robert lived in Poplar Cottage…and hated it there.

When we would visit Robert, he would always cry when we left. He loved coming home for visits, always thinking that he was there to stay. When it was time for us to take him back. He would sit in the car quietly until he saw the big “Pepsi Cola” sign from the highway. That sign would always trigger an emotional response from him. He would begin pulling at the back of my father’s car seat. We would have to hold onto him and try to calm him down.

This would go on for the rest of the ride. He would be crying and constantly saying, “don’t take me back, I don’t want to go back to pop cottage”, as he called it.

When the Forest Haven facility closed in 1991, Robert was then transferred to two other facilities, the last being RCM of Washington, Inc., in 1998.

I was never impressed when visiting the previous facilities where Robert resided.

However, when Robert was under the care of RCM, the first thing I noticed was how different he was, happy to see us when we visited, no problems when taking him home from a visit.

Robert was living in residential housing, and had his own room. His room was always neat and clean.

Once I went to pick Robert up for a home visit, I was told he was finishing up dinner. I could smell the home cooked food. Robert was sitting at the table eating nutritious food. Robert loved to eat.

Before he left he was handed a bag with his favorite treats…and we would stop on the way to get his diet coke and potato chips. Remember I said earlier that Robert did not like to see the large Pepsi Cola sign? There was no way he was going to drink a Pepsi!

His prescriptions where always ready for me with instructions, thanks to his wonderful nurse, Doris Goins, who always had them ready on time. I could call her at any time while he was visiting, and she was always available to answer my questions.

When I picked Robert up for visits he would have to hug everybody in the house before leaving. He would hurry down the front steps saying, “I’m going for a home visit, I’ll see you later!”

Once in the car, he would lean back, and say, “put my seatbelt on.” He would sing all of the songs on the radio as we were leaving…and he knew the words to most of them. He would always say, “you gonna bring me back home?” I would tell him, “we haven’t even got to my house yet…yes, I will bring you back home.

Robert would talk about all of his housemates and everyone that took care of him. If my phone rang, he would say, “is that Doris Goins?, always addressing her by her full name. He loved her so much.

He love going to day activities and would tell me what he learned, draw me pictures and sing songs.

He loved Scooby Doo and Batman. When he came for home visits, I would have to look through cable channels to find Scooby Doo cartoons. One day I couldn’t find Scooby Doo and put on another cartoon. He immediately noticed that it wasn’t Scooby Doo and let me know it. I kept searching and finally found it. Robert would blurt out the Scooby Doo or Batman theme songs right in the middle of eating, with a big grin…he was so happy.

He had a favorite song that I had to always sing with him in the car. I don’t know the name of it, but we sang: red leaves falling down, yellow leaves falling down, over all the town. He would always emphasize the word ‘town’ real loud. We would sing phrase, over-and-over again…all the way home.

We had no problem taking him home. We would be watching television, and Robert would say, “I’m ready to go home Rona”, that’s what he called me. If it was in the winter, he would get up and go to the closet, get his hat, coat and gloves and start putting them on.

Robert could be a comedian sometimes. My husband’s nickname is ‘Buster’. When Robert saw him he would say, “Brother-in-law, Buster Brown all around town.”

One time we were taking him home to his new house in Southeast, Washington, DC, and my husband made a wrong turn. Robert quickly grab the car seat and told him, “Go that way.” Sure enough, my husband had made a wrong turn. I was told by someone in the house that he knew the streets in the area from going to day activities.

What I like about RCM of Washington is that they kept Robert involved in activities. He was always involved in educational programs that helped him grow as an individual. He was attending field trips to museums, sports games, movies, and bowling. There was even a set day of the week that the residents went to the Chateau Club in DC.

Robert was in the Special Olympics.

Every summer he was off for a week vacation at the Sandbridge Beach. He really loved going and would constantly ask me how many days left before he would be going. He would tell me that he already had his suitcase packed.

Robert had seem to be gaining weight. RCM took note, put him on a diet…and he slimed down so nicely.

He really enjoyed the Annual Holiday Party. He would be all dressed up with a big smile when I got there, pulling me over to a table. His friends would stop by the table and say, “Robert Whiteing”, he would give the biggest grin and say, “this Rona my sister.” I would point to my husband and ask who he was, and he would say, “Brother-in-law, Buster Brown, all around town.

When Robert was diagnosed with Melanoma, I was immediately contacted. RCM staff took care of him, taking him to his doctor appointments. His nurse would always notify me of upcoming doctor appointments, procedures and his condition. Staff always called me when he returned home from an appointment. I had no worries, I knew that he was in good hands.

Robert succumbed to his Melanoma, and went to be with the Lord, in March 2012. His RCM family attended his funeral. It was heartwarming to see so many people that loved my brother.

I miss my ‘Big Teddy Bear’, as I always called him. He was one of the sweetest guys you could ever meet. I think about him all the time, especially around the Holidays.

I had the opportunity to visit the RCM offices last month. While standing at the receptionist desk, I noticed a picture tree. The first thing I saw was a picture of Robert and Amy Brooks, CEO, RCM of Washington, Inc. That did my heart good and made me smile. I always knew that the staff at RCM loved Robert, and he loved them. But seeing that picture, I knew, they have never forgotten him.

I know that Robert enjoyed the last fifteen years of his life, and is resting in peace.

RCM of Washington, Inc. is a wonderful organization, and is truly committed to their mission. This is only one story. I am sure all of their residents are treated with the same love, dignity and respect that they gave to Robert.

A big “Thank You” to all of the staff at RCM, for the love and care that you gave my brother, Robert.

Robert was always a big guy for his age. I think he was around 15-years-old in this picture.

Our parents, Vernon and Juanita Whiteing

Here he is enjoying RCM's Annual Holiday Party.

Robert dropped the weight!

Robert and his nurse, Doris Goins. She is a wonderful and caring person. Thank you for all of the love and care you gave Robert. I know he loved you.

Vacation Time!

Here he is with Danielle M. Darby, Chief Operating Officer, RCM of Washington, Inc., Amy L. Brooks, Chief Executive Officer, RCM of Washington, Inc. (far right), and some of his friends.